treasure

Published by Aundre | Filed under

4 a.m.

Its a pretty awesome time to walk you should try it. Every sane person is asleep and the world seems to rest.
There is  one particular touching experience with 4 in the morning that I have chosen never to forget. It was the night of my admittance to Caroline that I had feelings for her. Like this huge weight fell from my chest I felt so absurdly normal, sitting at a computer just so lame and un special. So I got up and started folding clothes and within a minute I saw the AIM button flashing telling me I had a message. And I am a special kind of coward who likes to take his defeats slowly. So i decided to finish up folding clothes and finally mustered the courage to amble over to the computer and I saw her response. A one sentence that …
Well im not going to finish the story.
Maybe some other time.

But. after just wasting 1.30 minutes of your life I ask you how much money does our country spend on death and its prevention?
Between funding the military, health-care and what not we are trying to be less human everyday. What was every so dangerous about death?

The great philospher 50 Cent once said, “death must be easy because life is hard.”

Why are we scared?
Terrified of losing these petty treasures we stored up?

I am not going to take a jab at consumerism or hedonism. Im just asking, what will your funeral be like? Can someone get up and eulogize about you saying ” So and so was such a revolutionary, he/she never lost the light from their eyes and now they are free, but they have molded us.” Or will them simply patch together some half true story of your selflessness and caring towards others, when all you did is cheapen your soul so many days of your life?

Its 8 the dishes are washed,  and its too many hours until four. The time of dreams. and youre just realizing that you still have life in you.
Fear is a nasty thing.
I can go on and on behind this silly monitor screen that I can barely stumble to convey my thoughts over.

What matters in life anyway? Id love to hear back from you guys.

What are you waiting for anyway? Nothing that cool is on Monday night television, and you know it. the phrase “too deep” is a lie.

My friend becca once said to me if this is our one shot our one try. I hope to God I can live it well. Or something like that.